has happened since the last time i got on here and blogged, which was back in the winter. It is now a lovely spring in bloomington indiana. This is possibly my favorite time of the year, except for fall… but right now my favorite is spring… in the fall it will be the fall and in winter i will long for sping, and so on.
some things that have happened:
christmas
new years
starting and finishing student teaching
really feeling like i’ve become a teacher
getting a new job at pizza express
beginning substitute teaching
my birthday… hello 23
more later….
but sooner than last time.
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sometimes i think there is so much i could do if i left this place
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i get lost with music in my ears kicking my feet in the leaves on the way to class.
i get lost lying flat on my back in my bed.
i get lost watching leaves dance out of the trees on my street.
i get lost wondering.
i get lost in the past.
maybe, i just am lost.
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i can’t quite define where i am today…
i’m contemplative.
i’m observant.
i’m introspective.
i’m excited.
i’m scared.
i’m unsure.
i’m jaded.
i’m young.
i’m old.
i’ve done this before…
only i haven’t.
i have new music: the format.
you know me… or you think you do
you just don’t seem to see
i’ve been waiting all this time
to be something i can’t define.
so lets cause a scene
clap our hands
stop our feet
or something, yeah something.
i’ve just gotta get myself over me.
< < you know me // the format>>
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preparation
a little eye liner
a little glitter spray
the party
the burger king
miss lacy
goofy alison
group shot!
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when i was little i had pet toads. they had names. i brought them bugs to eat.
i used to eat the left over communion “bread” (chicklet sized edible cardboard) and grape juice.
no doubt about it, i wanted to be a hippie. woodstock. painted busses. poetry. peace & love baby.
early on in high school i was accutely aware of our church’s discrimination towards homosexuals and was greatly outraged by it — still am.
dying my hair always turns out bad. but once i dyed it in a hotel at KrazyFest. i felt so punk rock.
i am a terrible speller.
i have always been facinated by Mexican culture’s Day of the Dead.
i read books about vampires in high school. i also read The Fountianhead.
i have saved rediculous amounts of diaries, quotes, letters, notes, doodles etc. over the years.
i constantly battle the fine line between organized and disorganized.
my first email address was kissing.tiny.flowers, its from a led zepplin song. proving once again how i embraced my inner hippie — about 30 years too late.
i remember the first pair of “wide-leg” jeans i had — just prior to “flayered” jeans.
i was a drama nerd.
i went to vocal contests and did well — but honestly, i was never any good.
my parents thought about naming me Autum Winter Williams — what would i have turned out like if my name was Autum Winter. Maybe then i could have been a real hippie.
My dad and I bonded over cokes on visits to my grandparents out on a Navajo Indian reservation in rural Arizona. My grandparents were missionaries — as in the bible thumping converting type.
When I was littled I wanted to be an archeologist. i’m not even sure if i can spell that.
Once i made my mom cry because i didn’t want her to go to camp with me. i still feel terrible about that to this day.
Peter Pan and the Wizard of Oz were my favorite movies when i was in kindgergarden.
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I realize i have dropped the ball my weekly (at least) update of my blog. my greatest apologies. I’ve had a great past couple of weeks — peppered with some annoyances: shakespeare, money, broken camera, bills, lack of time in the day!
but i won’t focus on those things for now.
right now i have about 10min before I have to head out to class… there’s been so much on my mind lately.
language autobiography: a project for cowan’s class examining how our language developed in our lives. I found so many teen-angst-uber-emo poems and diary entries. I laughed, and i reflected. the encouraging part is that, even at a young age i had some idea of the larger world — at least i was aware of humanity — and some people’s lack of humanity. i’ll admit to a rather hope for a Utopian society.
maybe i should have gone out west and joined a commune.
i am increasingly excited about the upcoming movie (no, not “harry potter becomes a man”) rather: RENT — the musical. i’ve been watching clips online and everything. it also makes me feel old, i remember being a young high schooler when i first experienced Erin, Dan and Linda belting out in their sexiest manner: “take more or leave me” along with “la-vi-bohem!”
really, a lot of things lately make me feel “old” at least old for me. i’m continuously amazed at how far i’ve come — not to be boastful at all — i’m just amazed at what time does to people, ideas , society.
i’d much rather spill out my revelations about the past 15 or so years of my life (the years i remember) but alas, i must go learn about the mood and why it is cold, has craters and is so darn dusty. i blame the space race for this class!
the opposite of war isn’t peace — its creation!
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i’m sitting in the lab. so technically this is a union-room-rant, not a red-room-rant. I have a Shakespeare midterm in 40min. I am not looking forward to it. It is over 12th Night, Othello, Antony and Cleopatra and Measure for Measure. I think I will do fine on all the parts except for Antony and Cleopatra. That was my least favorite play, followed by Othello. I did find out that my Astronomy midterm got curved +11% so I pulled out with a B and not a C. This made me very happy.
anyways, as soon as i’m done proving my shakespeare expertise (or lack-there-of) we’re heading out of town. Garrett is right, bloomington is a place you’ve got to get away from sometimes. Then, it is good to return.
I also got my student teaching placement and Bedford High School, so i’ll be sticking around B-ton for the rest of the school year.
have wonderful weekends
leave love
♥
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